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Marian Baker,
MCC
Master Certified Coach
Marian@MarianBaker.com
Phone: 773.509.9408
Fax: 773.509.9584
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Archived Essays:
#2 "Trick
or Treat?"
My client
Sarah has become increasingly aware of her choices relevant to
self care and health. When attracted to a glass of wine or a
piece of chocolate cake, she has two “stories” to assess. We
support her to make a distinction between what she feels like
doing in the moment vs. what will genuinely serve her
well in the bigger picture. One story might say, “Go
ahead—having that wine is great self care. You deserve a treat.”
Here is a moment of truth opportunity. Is this truly a treat or
is a self-sabotaging inner voice tricking us into believing this
is optimal well being? Trust me, I’m not preaching about
abstinence from wine or other goodies. There’s no firm rule
about what everyone should do. If the example were a weekend
vacation (instead of wine) would that be a smart self care
choice? Not necessarily. We each need to tune in to our higher
wisdom and pragmatic thinking things through. We need to
connect more deeply to that bigger picture mission, potential
consequences, trade-offs and heartfelt priorities. This is
especially relevant if we are tempted by immediate gratification
rather than lasting fulfillment. We need to cultivate that
discernment about “moment” vs. “momentum.” Sarah’s new story
is sharpening what is means to really love and care for herself-
when it’s a clever trick and when it’s a genuinely
health-fueling treat.
We can all
step back and ask questions like, What is the high priority
value I’m choosing to honor? What will be the longer term impact
or ripple effect? What matters most?
Another
client, CEO Jack, coached about how to show up in a key
strategic planning meeting. Feedback from his team indicated
they were concerned about his emotional reactions, thus they
might hold back. We coached about his higher values and desired
outcomes. One of Jack’s discernment questions was, “If I speak
up right now, will it contribute to the higher mission longer
term (or maybe just satisfy my emotional needs for the next 10
minutes)?”
Television is
another fascinating trick or treat category. If the need is to
rejuvenate, how much is your TV watching like sugar water or
real juice? To TV or not TV is not the static question. It
depends on the moment, the day, the content, et al, right? I may
feel like curling up on the couch, but I could be a more
fulfilled, refreshed, intentionally living person if I go out
walking or make those phone calls. At other times, letting
myself vege out or be filled-up by an inspiring movie could be
the ultimate true choice that serves the longer term higher good
as well. It’s the conscious discernment that counts.
The
self-pride that stems from keeping your promises to yourself,
and managing your energy well is a great momentum builder. Tiny
choices in sync with your true spirit values each contribute to
more pep in your step and you being a joyful contributor to the
world.
Coaching Questions:
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Actively observe your trick or
treat moments and categories for a couple weeks. What are you
learning?
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What are the provocative
questions to help you discern an optimal choice?
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What does matter most for
you over the next 3 months or so?
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Pick one focus area and practice
cultivating truly treating yourself with smart, compassionate
choices more than grabbing semiconscious treats.
Be well…be
inspired,
Marian
Selected as one of 50 top coaches in America, master certified
coach, author and speaker Marian Baker has coached and led
workshops with hundreds of clients from business and personal
growth communities since 1996. She loves this work, admires her
clients and falls asleep grateful. Excerpts of the new book,
Wake Up Inspired andother free resources are now available
at
www.MarianBaker.com.
Copyright 2006 Marian Baker.
Reprintable only when whole content copied and full credit
included. Thank you.
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